if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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