I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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