What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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