I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
