Apparently you make a good broom.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
