That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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