My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
