I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I could fuck to npr.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
