dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
