There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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