Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize