Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
