I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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