yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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