you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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