How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
