Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
