We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize