You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
