you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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