There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Randomize
