Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
