I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
