I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
