Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
