Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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