its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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