It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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