9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh god it's open bar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize