dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
