Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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