i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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