So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
