Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
