He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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