I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ladies don't puke and tell
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
