I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
