Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
