I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
