But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
