too bad you live with your parents still
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
