just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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