Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
