i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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