im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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