Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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