Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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