Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
