the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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