we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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