you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
