I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
