You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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