Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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