we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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