Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
