5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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