Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
