Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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