my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize