People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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