i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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