I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
