Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
