Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
