JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize